We have left all we had to follow you! Luke 18:28
This verse is Chad and I's hearts cry. That we left everything out on the line to follow Christ. That all things temporary have remained below all things Heavenly. Chad and I seek to fervently obey the Lord. Somewhat like Chad's carpentry skills- we measure twice (pray) and cut once (obey). We aren't afraid to say no, so we listen quietly for a "yes" and then charge ahead...
So last Tuesday when I received a call about an 18 month old Hispanic boy we sought the Lord and called on our dearest friends to petition for us. The urgency that is required by cps can be frustrating to say the least, they needed to place the boy by 5:30. The phone call came in a few minutes shy of 4.
With peace, and practically thinking this boy was within our "range" we said yes... I don't say it out loud enough, but I am so grateful that the Lord has put my brother and sweet family in town with us. He was able to come help shift some furniture around and help Chad put up the crib. I love that I knew Crista was at home praying for us as we prepared...
The little one showed up at 5:40 and my heart swelled seeing our sweet boys love on him. They don't see color, background, family history. JD and Kade saw a playmate, a companion. I saw Jesus in my boys.
Shortly after signing papers and dinner I began to have a familiar unsettling feeling very similar to how I felt with Skylar those 3 months. Chad and I talked and prayed and prayed and prayed... well, you get the picture... We finally felt the Lord saying "no."
That is a difficult thing. Satan wants us to believe the lies "you must not have heard God"; "you are just gonna mess this one up more if you give him back"; "oh sure, add to his number of homes"; "you are being so selfish"... Pride wants to rise up and push you to "grin and bare it."
I am so grateful for friends who prayed peace over us all. We all slept well and Chad and I were able to clearly know that God said yes on Tuesday and no on Wednesday morning. This is one of those things I'll always want to understand and probably never will... But what I long for most in this is that our hearts displayed to God and the world that 'we have left all we had to follow you!'
Monday, January 18, 2010
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