Tuesday, May 5, 2009

My heart, our life, God's plan. part 21

January 16, 2008
Lord Jesus, please grow Chad and I closer. Father help us both see what parenting is-especially Chad not getting as much practice as I do. Father help us all bond and find a solid "routine." Jesus, I am very nervous about schooling stuff- what if we can't get in, potty training, holding them back... Lord, I just don't know what we should do. Guide our conversations and decision making. Lord, plant a strong desire in each of the boys to deeply long to honor, love, and serve You from early in their lives. May they never feel rejection. May they feel comfortable and safe. Jesus may they know you early, serve you faithfully, and love you always...

Parenting brings many challenges. I've been told that starting at the "no" stage and skipping the stages that we did by getting two children at 2 and 3 complicates things even more. Chad and I were thrown into disciplining immediately. We longed for Chad to continue being the leader of the home but there was a power struggle. I was with the children all day long, had more practice (and opportunities for mistakes) so it made it difficult to switch over the authority at 5:15 daily. Just when we'd started to figure out this marriage stuff two little boys weighing in at less than 50 pounds together promoted many 'loud' discussions.

What was happening was the breaking of my desire to control. It had been a theme already in play but God really drove it home with the boys entering in my life.

I believed (and still do) that even if the boys did not remember their lives prior to age 3 satan wanted to come in and use heir past - specifically rejection - to haunt them. So prayer over that area became crucial quickly. In all honesty, prayer was the only thing keeping me sane as my world changed-in a good way, but changed non the less...

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