When we got the boys Chad and I had been married 6 and 1/2 years. We'd gotten used to one another, familiar with our "hot" buttons so to speak. [Some of you are smirking at where this is going]
Once we got the boys Chad and I had brand new issues to "discuss." This was another area Satan crept in. He lied to me telling me I was negative, complain-y, needy. That I was selfish.
I longed to be Chad's helper, his encourager, his biggest fan but learning to balance the kids in the mix was difficult. We struggled alot with submission and leadership. Before children there wasn't as much a need for this to occur. Sure there were a few minor hiccups where I had to shut my mouth but we've always worked as a team. Chad and I felt it so important that he lead the family- set the example, follow Christs calling but that was a challenge when I was running the show Monday-Friday 8am-5pm.
Again, more shame and guilt because I wasn't getting it right. That shame and guilt poured out into my confidence. Made me doubt we'd done the right thing even while my heart loved the boys as though I'd given them life...
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