August 1, 2007
As I finished reading Deuteronomy I can't help but think how heart breaking it must have been for Moses not to go into the promised land. To only see it from afar. To be called to a task and it not finish the way you hoped or thought it would. Lord, make me like Moses- his eyes were on You, always seeing the bigger picture or trusting You to!
I see now that this was a prophetic word from the Lord. Words to spur me on. He knew exactly when I would finish with the book of Deuteronomy and what I would gain from the completed task. I also see that my prayer was a seed that He would soon harvest. In the weeks to come God would allow us to see faint red flags waiving. God granted His all knowing wisdom and discernment and guided us to the right people, the right questions. The case workers involved continued to tell us that rights would be moving towards termination. Our guts seemed to believe the transporters reports. In the end, she was the one to give accurate reports. Skylar's family was meeting all the requirements to allow Skylar back in their home. The state is always for family reunification and trusts its case workers to thoroughly do their job. The information on Skylar had not been updated in roughly 10 months so what we'd been told was accurate for 10 months prior. Somehow that detail had not been shared. So when the transporter told me on September 5, 2007 that a weekend visit would happen (which usually is a "test run" before permanent placement) the following week we knew it would come and it would come quickly.
September 5, 2007 from Skylar's journal
Our prayers will always be with you. May your soul find Jesus. May your influence reach generations of old and new for the glory and kingdom of Jesus Christ.
She brought us tissue when our tears wouldn't stop. It breaks my heart to think that she knew the cycle all too well. Well enough to know what the tears meant. Skylar seemed to sense the change that was coming. She began acting out more, fighting being left alone, less hungry, fighting sleep more than normal. The last week she slept behind her door or sometimes in front of our closed bedroom door.
September 14, 2007 from Skylar's journal
You left for your weekend visit today. It is hard watching you play knowing your world is about to completely change again. I wish I could keep consistency in your life...
I will never ever forget that our dear friends Mike and Aimee dropped anything they had going on to go camping with us that weekend Skylar went for the visit. It was wonderful to be distracted and nestled in the heart and safety of dear friends. If I never told you both thank you, know forever you helped protect my heart that weekend.
No matter the battles, I was Skylar's momma for a season God felt suitable. I parented her until the minute she left on September 19, 2007 around 10am.
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wow Keri! thanks for sharing all of this. i know you are so glad you have kept these journals. and what a story they are telling to others!
ReplyDeleteoh yes...tears.
ReplyDeleteKeri, I can't even begin to tell you the impact that you have had on my life. I have been reading your journals, amazed with your faith in the Lord and desiring that same faith in my own life. Thank you so much for sharing all of this. I can't wait to read more. Jeff just asked "what are you emotional about now?". Ha, yes I am an emotional girl, but he should know that after 5 1/2 years of marraige right?
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