My heart, our life, God's plan. part 11

Blessed be your name In the land that is plentiful
Where the streams of abundance flow Blessed be your name

Blessed be your name When I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness Blessed be your name

Every blessing you pour out,I turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say...
Blessed be the name of the Lord, Blessed be your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord, Blessed be your glorious name

Blessed be your name When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's all as it should be Blessed be your name

Blessed be your name On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering Blessed be your name

Every blessing you pour out,I turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say...
Blessed be the name of the Lord, Blessed be your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord, Blessed be your glorious name

You give and take away You give and take away
My heart will choose to say Lord, Blessed be your name

I've started this blog at least three times this morning. The words don't sound pretty. What is with that anyway? That we as believers think our lives have to sound picture perfect. The fall of 2007 wasn't pretty for Chad and I. We lost Skylar, 2 weeks later Chad's mom passed away, 1 week later we had to put one of our dogs down. It was messy and painful. I felt guilt for feeling relief when Skylar left (more on that later). I was mad that some of our friends didn't check in with us. That while at Chad's house before Cathy passed no one asked how we were doing. I remember in the midst of all of this I couldn't find anyone to help us with a broken lawn mower. I guess people didn't want to crowd us, wanted to give us time to heal. I am telling you that is a bunch of poop. I was alone during the day. Days that had been filled with mothering a child. My home was empty and silent. I didn't need anymore silence.

What is worse that in these situations I feel the dad gets even less care. Chad was hurting too, having to make it through work. Carrying the weight of a loss of a child and a grieving wife.

The beauty of this all??? Our Heavenly Father never left us. If I've ever felt Abba's care it was during those weeks. He NEVER left Chad and I. We clung to the word. This song (above) carried me through everything. We were determined to keep our hearts toward the kingdom, and although there was frustration with earthly people I believe we brought glory to God during our grievances.