Skylar came to us on July 13, 2007 around 1:00 pm. She looked just like what I'd assumed- strawberry blond hair, blue eyes, fair skin. The case worker who was assigned to Skylar left within 10 minutes of dropping her. Skylar was very timid. God gave us the wisdom to play with her in her room for hours that first day. I believe that helped her feel comfortable enough to rest there later. She wasn't really talking (using 3 words: dada, momma, and okay) so I started teaching the signs for words. In the beginning if she were hungry she would go and sit at the table. The girl never napped. Much more comfortable with men than women.
I can't say I know what it feels like to birth a child. I don't know what it is like on your body, I can't understand what happens to your emotions. I cannot comprehend what it feels like to bring an infant home. I was always fearful I'd be that new mom that didn't connect with my baby. Remember, I have the benefit of writing this after the fact, but I can tell you that my fears came true when meeting Skylar. Even in the beginning I see now I was disappointed and satan used that to promote guilt and shame.
July 15, 2007
Lord I want what you have in store for me. I am so scared and afraid. Pour down your peace, remove any guilt. I want to be used. Send me Your love and comfort Jesus. May I discern the enemies lies and NOT believe them. Jesus, please consume the panic I have when I remember we have a child. Help me to not overlook the blessing.
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Keri, I love that you are sharing your story and I just wanted to encourage you to keep writing. It is beautiful!
ReplyDeleteKeri, just read it all. And I love it. Thanks for sharing it all!
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your story. It is a blessing to hear the stories of those who have been blessed to go before us in this process. Thank you for your comments on our blog.
ReplyDeleteJulie